its not about what u get its about who bought it for u!!!!!

if i want it i could bought myself if i want it.
but its a matter of who actaully bought it for you
you know what
no matter how good im in his heart im not good enough
yet when i cry people say that i jealous of what you get

disappointed T.T

what life is about

i always wanted to speak out as it is very tiring to keep everything inside yet i couldnt found anyone that could be a good listener or im too choosy.I dont have all my friend to know too much about me.As i grow up i find it difficult to speak out.If i say out the truth people will feel as if im a devil but if i dont i find it very suffer.This is what my life is about.Since small i would tell everything that i feel to my her but thing changes.Since she enter uni eveything change.I really wanted to tell her but i found out that everything i told her someone will know about it.I really need some privacy please.If i tell everyone about how you feel or even how you act like at home would you be happy? I know he is your buddy yet everything have a limit.I just hate my life because of this.Each and everyday i have to pretend.Pretend not to know that you msg him pretend not to know that u chat with him and even pretend not to know everything that i actaully know.Even if u dont tell me i can feel it.Dont you find its tirirng? i really tired with it.I hate to pretend yet nothig much could be done.


pretending have been a part of my life~

exam life

i thought everything that i plan will work very well

but its seem did not work at all

i thought i will do well this time

but i dint

so useless

during exam i lost all my self confidence

really disappointed

i did read and prepare before exam

study and busy like nobody business

cramming everything inside the brain

but it totally lost after 2 weeks

and the day before exam i force to revise everything back

hoping that i will remember everything again

but at last i realise that i got no time to do so

as a result i lost my sleep at night

worried about the exam next day

during exam my brain drew a blank

really dont know what to say bout myself

prepare everything so well befor exam

but during exam everything that i memorise gone

i hope during my stpm this thing will never happen

i hope everything will be perfect in my stpm

life is tough~